Thursday, April 27, 2017

How Does 2017 Eric Thames Remind Us of Peak Josh Hamilton?

While watching Eric Thames commit arson in Colorado, Cincinnati, Toronto, and Chicago in the first few weeks of the season, I felt like I had seen something like this before. Thames's re-emergence after spending a few years out of the league calls to mind baseball's most amazing comeback story from last decade -- that of Josh Hamilton.

The Rangers released Hamilton a few days ago, which probably represents the end of the line for the aging slugger after it was discovered that he'll need another knee surgery. It's definitely jumping the gun, but I've found myself comparing him to Thames, who's quickly becoming as feared as Hamilton once was.

Before I explain the similarities, be warned that this is just for fun. Small sample size alert and all that. Thames might have holes in his game that opponents will soon begin to exploit, whereas Hamilton won an MVP award and made five straight All-Star teams. Still, it's fun to compare their stories, and it feels appropriate to appreciate both guys right now.

Saturday, April 15, 2017

How Can You Tell if Someone's Really "Green"?

This is a simple test to figure out if a person is actually environmentally conscious. Everyone with a young child can relate to it.

Here's the hypothetical: You're changing your kid's soiled diaper in a parking lot. You manage to finish without getting poop on your hand or the carseat. (Or, you've gotten it on your hand, but you've sorta cleaned it off with a baby wipe.) Now, you encounter a problem: there are no garbage cans or dumpsters in the lot.

The moment of truth: Do you ditch the diaper on the ground? Or do you bring it home with you and suffer through the stench for the rest of your ride?

(For me, the answer is probably to keep the diaper in the car if it came from the three-month-old but to ditch it in the lot if it was produced by the two-year-old.)

Way more than who you voted for, this test displays where you stand on environmental issues. If you're really green, you'll keep the brown in your hybrid car.


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Tuesday, April 4, 2017

How Will John Sterling Call Matt Holliday's Home Runs?

There are a lot of possibilities here, but this is my favorite:

(To the tune of "Jolly Holiday" from Mary Poppins)
"It's a jolly Holliday with Matty. It's a jolly holiday with Matt."

I hope Papa Pinstripe cooks up something as good or better when Holliday goes deep in the next week or so. I'll try to post as I think of good possible calls for the other new Yankees.


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Follow Francis Tolan on Twitter @frantweet12