Thursday, May 26, 2016

How Could L.A. Think It's the Best Sports City?

Former Grantlander Dave Schilling has been writing some really great stuff over at The Guardian, including his intelligent takedown of Michael Wilbon's nonsensical why-black-people-hate-analytics rubbish from earlier in the week. With that being said, on Thursday, Schilling argued that Los Angeles might have overtaken cities like New York, Boston, and Philadelphia as the best sports city in the country. Since the title of the piece specifically calls out the Big Apple ("Tremble before us, New York"), let's deconstruct Schilling's article point-by-dubious-point to show that he must have smoked some of Johnny Drama's L.A. medicinal marijuana before writing.

Sunday, May 22, 2016

How Valuable Were 2003's Young Baseball Stars?

Remember 2003? Hilary Duff was a huge multi-platform star, "Freedom Fries" were all the rage, Lance Armstrong was still a demigod to many fans, and people still believed Iraq had stockpiles of WMDs. And, of course, Shawn Green and Kevin Millwood were two of the 10 best young players in baseball. Wait, hold up. What was that last one?!

Friday, May 13, 2016

How Will Sterling Call Gary Sanchez's Dingers?

The Yankees called catching prospect Gary Sanchez up from Triple-A for this weekend's series against the White Sox. In his short cup of coffee last September, Sanchez went hitless and, therefore, homerless. So, of course, we have to predict John Sterling's home run call for the 23-year-old. I have a weird hunch that Sterling will go extra-corny with this one:

"Gary, Gary, quite contrary ... What makes your garden grow?"

How Much Have the '90s Aged?

A few years ago, I posted a list of things that have changed and stayed the same since the '90s. Well, here's a question one of my eighth-grade students asked the other day:

"Hey, have you guys ever watched that show 'Nine-Zero-Two-One-Zero'?"

They also watch Girl Meets World but don't know about Boy Meets World. Terrible. Now I understand just how Clint Eastwood felt in Gran Torino.



If you want to subscribe to How Blank, just type in your email address on the right side of the page. You'll get a notification every time we post new content.

Follow Francis Tolan on Twitter @frantweet

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

How Upset Am I (Still) That I Missed Gooden's No-Hitter?

Most of you have probably heard of FOMO -- Fear of Missing Out. Well, as a result of something that happened 20 years ago this week, I suffer from a chronic, recurring case of DAMN -- Depression About Missing a No-hitter. I had a ticket to Dwight Gooden's no-hitter, and I missed it. I was ten years old, it was my best chance to catch such a feat in person, and I might as well have been an H.G. Wells character. DAMN is right.

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

How Will Sterling Call Ben Gamel's Homers?

Outfielder Ben Gamel has played several games for the Yankees so far, recording his first big league hit on Monday night. He's yet to club a home run, though. When he does, here's my prediction for John Sterling's call:

"A GAM slam for Ben!"

Sunday, May 8, 2016

How Well Did I Predict Sterling's Home Run Call for Aaron Hicks?

Unlike with Starlin Castro, whose John Sterling home run call I pretty much nailed, I was about half-right on Sterling's call for Aaron Hicks. Here's what I predicted back in February:

"Home run for Hicks ... Aaron makes like Hank and hammers one!"