Thursday, April 9, 2015

How Can the Yankees Get John Sterling More Involved?

I'm going to my second Yankees game tonight, putting me on pace to attend 54 home games this season, a stat slightly less impressive than the 270-homer pace Adrian Gonzalez has set. Here are my three main hopes for the team's rubber match against Toronto:

1) My wife -- who's pregnancy service time has now exceeded nine months -- won't go into labor at least until we get home from the game.
2) CC Sabathia will record a start worthy of the No. 3 pitcher on a contending team. That's really not asking too much, is it?
3) One of the new Yankees will bomb his first Bronx home run.

Hope No. 3 is especially crucial. (Yes, I'd put it slightly ahead of Hope No. 1 at this point.) So far this season, the Yankees have been so light-hitting that they only won last night by employing a MacGyver-esque series of tricks to defeat the Blue Jays. Brett Gardner owns the Yanks' only homer of the season so far. And while I love John Sterling's "Gardy goes yardy!" exclamation, the broadcaster is just itching to break out a new call or two.

As a reminder, here are a couple of my predictions for Sterling's anticipated home run calls:
Garrett Jones: "Garrett keeps up with the Joneses!"
Didi Gregorius: "The Yankees needed a Didi for that drive!" (Or, "Gruh-, Gruh-, Gruh-, Gregooorious" sung to the tune of "Notorious B.I.G.")

If one of the team's recent additions goes yard tonight, I'll Google Sterling's home run call the second I get home from the game. Only then is my wife allowed to go into labor.

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