Monday, March 9, 2015

How Supernumerary Are Josh Collmenter's Arms?

In an in-game interview on Monday, Josh Collmenter went all Spring Training on us during an entertaining interview with reporter Jody Jackson from Fox Sports Arizona. Collmenter enlisted fellow Diamondbacks hurler Trevor Cahill to act as his arms as Jackson tried to get him to answer actual baseball questions.

I know Jackson was just trying to do her job, but there's no way that interview was going to be anything but a joke. At one point, she said, "On a serious note..." in an attempt to get Collmenter to talk about being named the D-Backs' Opening Day starter. No dice on the seriousness. Instead, I think Jackson should have gone the other way and played along with the joke. After all, what's the worst that could happen? (She could probably lose her job. That's probably the worst that could happen. But still.)

Here are a few questions Jackson could have asked the extra-armed Collmenter to enhance the quality of the interview:
  • "Forget James Andrews. Did you get Tommy John Surgery from Dr. Otto Gunther Octavius this off-season?"
  • "Paul Goldschmidt, your team's superstar, missed the end of last season with a broken hand and you had these four good hands the whole time?" (Collmenter's response: "Yeah, we're in the Rockies.")
  • "Can I have a few sunflower seeds?" (Cahill's hand whips a wad of seeds at her.)
  • "Josh, you have some snot hanging from your nose. You wanna take care of that?"
  • "Are you doing an impression of our galaxy? That's pretty trippy, man."
  • "In your next outing, will you be trying to two-up Pat Venditte and pitch with all four of your arms?"
  • Hey, can you predict soccer games? 

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Follow FranT on Twitter at @frantweet and follow Brian Kavanaugh at @btkav

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