Wednesday, March 11, 2015

How Much Fun Is the Giant Family Picnic?

Welcome to Day 19 of my baseball preview. Today's post has nothing to do with the upcoming season per se, but it deals with a very important question: Are the San Francisco Giants and New York Giants related by blood? I can think of no less pertinent question to ponder. 

On "The Mike Francesa Show" earlier this week, Mike fielded what he deemed one of the program's strangest questions in a while. (If you don't know much about Francesa, go read this then come back. Definitely come back, though.)

Here's the call, from "Dan in Waw-wick":

I don't want to misquote Dan, so let's transcribe this doozy word-for-ridiculous-word:

"In your years or experience, have you ever seen, you know how the San Francisco Giants were once the New York Giants. Has there ever been either a franchise-to-franchise, or maybe even player-to-player, get-together when San Francisco comes to New York? Like, do they ever say hi, maybe, I don't know, go out to dinner or something?"

There is a history of callers trolling Mike, but Dan's question actually seemed earnest. The "go out to dinner" quote had me doubting his seriousness for a second, but Dan maintained an even tone for the rest of the conversation. I think the dude actually thought he was calling in with a really intriguing question for Mike.

Mike, of course, responded by completely dismissing the question, as he's been known to do. (In this case, Dan in Waw-wick deserved to get shot down like a U-2 flying over the USSR.) Later, Dan clarified the connection between the two franchises, saying that the San Francisco baseball team "used to be in New York and they've got the same name." Well-put, Danny! I hadn't thought of that.

The best part of the clip comes after Dan has been cut off, when Mike launches into a long hypothetical about the teams being "brothahs or something." The last minute of the clip provides us with a window into Francesa's genius: On the spur of the moment, he concocted a hypothetical Giant family picnic every year in July, complete with a relay race, a raffle, and a breakfast. (I wonder if Odell Beckham, Jr., and Brandon Crawford would be allowed to participate on the same team in the egg toss. That would just be unfair.) The location for the picnic? Totowa, New Jersey.* Naturally.

*According to Wikipedia, "There are more dead people than living in Totowa, as the borough includes four active cemeteries: Holy Sepulchre Roman Catholic Cemetery, Laurel Grove Memorial Park, Mount Nebo Jewish Cemetery, and the A.M. White Lodge Jewish Cemetery." Sounds like a lovely place for a family picnic. 

The Sports Pope wasn't done with his sermon yet. (I wish real Church homilies were this entertaining.) Francesa said that the Rangers -- Texas baseball and New York hockey -- have a similar family reunion. That get-together is usually held in Abilene, Texas. Unfortunately for guys like Will Clark, who played for both the Giants and the Rangers, it takes about 26 hours to drive from Totowa to Abilene.

While discussing the Ranger family reunion, Francesa delivered the funniest line of the whole episode: "Lundqvist is particularly close to Yu Dah-vish." Both the Rangers goalie and the Rangers ace are currently injured, so they probably help each other get through it with spirited games of bingo.

And of course, Francesa ended his spiel with four beautiful, oft-repeated words: "Here's the Mink Man."

If you want to subscribe to How Blank, just type in your email address on the right side of the page. You'll get a notification every time we post new content.

Follow FranT on Twitter at @frantweet and follow Brian Kavanaugh at @btkav

No comments:

Post a Comment