Saturday, February 28, 2015

How Do Peanuts Characters Compare to These Yankees?

The Yankees' promotional schedule came out the other day, and the organization has slated September 9 as "Yankees Peanuts Bobblehead Night." The first few thousand fans to arrive at the Stadium that evening will take home a bobblehead doll of Schroeder adorned in catcher's gear. It's doubtful that the giveaway will ever be worth anything, but stranger things have happened. In honor of Schroeder's turn as a ceramic figurine, let's compare a few Yankees to the Peanuts characters they most resemble.

Linus van Pelt -- Joe Girardi 
Girardi doesn't feel comfortable without his security blanket (that ubiquitous binder).

Lucy van Pelt -- Masahiro Tanaka
Tanaka treats batters like this:
Rerun van Pelt -- Stephen Drew
Drew will probably never step out of his big brother's shadow.

Charlie Brown -- Alex Rodriguez
Both guys are all-around sad human beings.

Snoopy -- CC Sabathia
CC looks like a cute dog.


(Or, an angry bear.)

Pigpen -- Dellin Betances
Straight-up dirty.

Sally Brown -- Gary Sรกnchez
Both young and cute.

Unintelligible Adult -- Kevin Kernan
Kernan's not a Yankee, but somebody hired him to jot down nonsense about the Yankees every day in the local paper. We'd all be better off if Kernan just wrote "Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah..."

Schroeder -- Didi Gregorius
Just like Schroeder will never duplicate Beethoven's music, no matter how well Gregorius plays, he'll have trouble imitating the art of the man he admired.

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