Tuesday, January 6, 2015

How Did Aaron Boone Get Two Hall of Fame Votes?

That's right. Aaron "Bleepin'" Boone got a pair of votes in Tuesday's Hall of Fame voting. Boone got those votes on an absolutely loaded ballot that kept Carlos Delgado from even staying on another year. It's absolutely unconscionable that any writer voted for Boone. Or is it?

Here are the four reasons anyone could have had for putting Boone on his or her ballot:

4. Drugs
Two buddies who happen to be members of the Baseball Writers Association of America watched Trainspotting together, then thought, "That would be fun," then injected copious amounts of heroin. Then they cast their ballots.

3. Senility
You know, some of those BBWAA guys are old. Like, still-call-movies-"pictures" old.

2. The Dinger

(Sniffles.) Yeeeaaahh.

1. Steroid Era Zinger
Recall that Aaron's brother Bret came from nowhere to become a superhero second baseman during the middle of the Steroid Era. Bret had the fourth-highest jump in WAR from one season to the next in baseball history, and he has always provided go-to anecdotes for people looking to highlight the absurdity of that time period. I guess you could just chalk it up to the fact that he is a descendant of the legendary Daniel Boone, but most people don't.

Anyways, here's the conspiracy theory to explain Aaron Boone's two Hall of Fame votes. Two stodgy old baseball writers -- who were neither on heroin nor senile* -- decided to stick it to all the mighta-coulda steroid users on the ballot by voting for Aaron. Because what gets a competitive guy angrier than being outdone by his little brother? I remember pretty much throwing a Ping Pong paddle through my little brother's forehead one time. And I'm not even that competitive. So, take that, Bret!

*Well, maybe just a little senile.

Those principled writers each spent a vote on Aaron Boone to spite his brother Bret and all those like him. And I really can't blame the writers, since nobody of note got left out of the Hall anyways. I mean, it's not like the best-hitting catcher of all-time fell short or anything.

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Follow FranT on Twitter at @frantweet and follow Brian Kavanaugh at @btkav

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