Monday, October 13, 2014

How About the Other Chris Columbus?

In honor of Columbus Day, let's examine the feats of the most important Chris Columbus -- that is, Chris Columbus, legendary filmmaker.

Here are my five favorite Columbus movies:

5. Jingle All the Way
You thought sailing across the Atlantic during the 15th century was impressive? Well, how about successfully teaming Sinbad and Ahnuld -- two of the most inept actors ever -- for a Christmas movie? Just an unbelievable accomplishment.

4. The Goonies
During the summer, I tackled this one in detail.

3. Mrs. Doubtfire
Here's what I wrote after choosing Mrs. Doubtfire in How Blank's Golden Globe Draft:

"I'm grabbing Mrs. Doubtfire (Comedy/Musical, 1993), one of the few comedies about which my mother and I truly agree. The best parts of the movie happen apart from actual plot movement. I love all the scenes with the horny bus driver, the lecherous boss, and Daniel's brother and his partner. I also belly-laugh at the old lady's vendetta against Brosnan's character Stuart. 'Your Mercedes?' 'It was a run-by fruiting...Loser.'"

2. Home Alone
Booby traps, borderline foul language, Buzz, Joe Pesci, Uncle Frank, the terrific film-within-a-film... What more could a kid ask for in a movie?

1. Home Alone 2: Lost in New York
One of the few sequels that outshines the original. Columbus filled Home Alone 2 with some of the biggest assholes in movie history.

Columbus also produced all the Harry Potter movies. I'm not a huge fan, but along with the five films that I mentioned, that puts Columbus in the pantheon of kids' movie makers. Give thanks to him on this Columbus Day.

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