Tuesday, September 16, 2014

How Hideous Is Miss Trunchbull?

On Friday night, we had a throwback to our '90s childhoods. Adult beverages couldn't stop us from watching Hook, some of The Goonies, and Matilda. Since I already blogged about the first two movies this summer, I figured I was due for a post about Matilda.

So let's talk about Miss Trunchbull. In the book version of Matilda, Roald Dahl's narrator tells us that Trunchbull "had an obstinate chin, a cruel mouth and small arrogant eyes." The narrator also says, "Looking at her, you got the feeling that this was someone who could bend iron bars and tear telephone directories in half."

Yikes! I guess the director of the movie tried to capture the book's description of Trunchbull. Still, on Friday, the headmistress was even more horrific than I remembered. With that in mind, let's check out my five favorite Trunchbull Faces:

5. Determined Trunchbull Face
Via writeups.org
Trunchbull has an endless supply of determination, something I really admire in a fellow educator. Unfortunately, Ol' Agatha focuses most of that willpower on throwing kids out windows and imprisoning them in the Chokie. Oh, and on reliving her glory days from the '72 Olympics.

4. You-Can't-Do-It-Bruce Trunchbull Face

Via geekphoria.net 
You know that old story about forcing your kid to smoke a full pack of cigarettes if you catch him smoking. Trunchbull tries the same trick on Brucie, but with poor results. She ends up rallying the kids against her, leaving a triumphant Bruce to hold up the finished cake plate like a guy who just won Wimbledon.

3. Jealous Trunchbull Face
Via writeups.org
One of the hidden subplots of Matilda is Miss Honey's hotness. Maybe it's all the time she spends on-screen with Danny DeVito, Rhea Pearlman, and Trunchbull, but she comes out looking like a real smokeshow. Trunchbull took all the brawn from the family gene pool, but Miss Honey took the beauty. Sorry, Agatha.

2. Smiley Trunchbull Face
Via moundsandcircles.blogspot.com
You know how sometimes smiling is the creepiest thing you can do? Trunchbull fully understands that fact, and she uses it masterfully in her constant psychological war against her pupils. I'd piss my pants if she leaned over my desk with that grin on her face.

1. Chowing-on-Chocolate Trunchbull Face

Via buzzfeed.com
This one honestly makes me want to throw up. Chocolate companies couldn't have been happy about this scene.


Trunchbull makes so many hideous faces throughout the movie that Kerry and our friend Jaime ended up saying that the actress who played her now "looks great":

Great? I guess it's all relative when you're talking about The 'Bull.

BONUS: Broadway Trunchbull Face
Via broadway.com
She looks like a mix of Lord Voldemort and a dominatrix. Just terrible.

If you want to subscribe to How Blank, just type in your email address on the right side of the page. You'll get a notification every time we post new content.

Follow FranT on Twitter at @frantweet and follow Brian Kavanaugh at @btkav


  1. I believe Kerry's exact words were, "she looks like a million bucks". LOL