Sunday, September 28, 2014

How Awesome Are These Old People?

Pope Francis recently stressed the importance of elderly people, and that message was echoed by priests across the world. No, this post isn't just an excuse to mention the pope with whom I have so much in common. However, it is an excuse to count down the 10 coolest old people in pop culture.

Let's do this, because there's (literally) no time to waste.

Thursday, September 25, 2014

How Profoundly Did Jeter Impact My Life?

There's been a lot of love going around for Derek Jeter the last few months, and it's reached a fever pitch these past few days. Some of my favorite tributes are here and here. And here:

I'm just warning you now that I'm about to break the idol-worship-ometer in this post. You've been warned.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

How Mainstream Is the Word "Skell"?

I thoroughly enjoyed Monday's series premiere of the show Gotham, in large part because of this scene:

Monday, September 22, 2014

How Important Is the Courtesy Flush?

I went out with a friend from Atlanta on Sunday afternoon and we were hanging out in a bar on the Upper East Side. After a few hours, a bacon cheeseburger, and several pints, nature called. It was time:

When I entered the bathroom, it smelt like Harry Dunne had just finished in there. As I sat on my own porcelain throne, I reflected on the two main reasons we courtesy flush:

1. It helps rid the bathroom of the foul odors emanating from your body. 
Sunday mornings, especially, cause demons to leave our bodies during trips to the bathroom. Courtesy flushing allows the pooper to drown those demons as quickly as possible.
2. It allows you to gauge the flushing capacity of the toilet. 
There's nothing worse than a toilet that's weaker than Roger Goodell's credibility. On the flip-side, there's nothing better than an industrial-strength flusher. The courtesy flush allows you to see how much flushing leeway you have.

So please remember to courtesy flush.

(This public service message has been brought to you by Kohler Toilets. Please flush responsibly.)

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Friday, September 19, 2014

How Involved in Baseball Is Duffman?

Duffy is a great surname. It's short, it's memorable, it's Irish, and my neighbor once had an awesome golden retriever of the same name. Most of all, Duffy is a great surname because of Duffman references. Which leads us to Wednesday night's Giants-Diamondbacks game. With one out in the top of the ninth, Giants rookie Matt Duffy laced a single to center to score Pablo Sandoval and give the Giants the game-winning run. What made the at-bat even better was this:
Duffy's big hit wasn't the first time that Duffman inserted himself into baseball affairs. Here are a few others that I can think of:

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

How Hideous Is Miss Trunchbull?

On Friday night, we had a throwback to our '90s childhoods. Adult beverages couldn't stop us from watching Hook, some of The Goonies, and Matilda. Since I already blogged about the first two movies this summer, I figured I was due for a post about Matilda.

So let's talk about Miss Trunchbull. In the book version of Matilda, Roald Dahl's narrator tells us that Trunchbull "had an obstinate chin, a cruel mouth and small arrogant eyes." The narrator also says, "Looking at her, you got the feeling that this was someone who could bend iron bars and tear telephone directories in half."

Yikes! I guess the director of the movie tried to capture the book's description of Trunchbull. Still, on Friday, the headmistress was even more horrific than I remembered. With that in mind, let's check out my five favorite Trunchbull Faces:

Monday, September 15, 2014

How Good/Bad Are These Divisions?

Football is back, and so am I!

Crappy football is better than no football, but Thursday night's game between the Ravens and Steelers was crappy. Personally, I was excited for it because I had Pittsburgh +3 in a pool (in which I am slowly drowning), but I thought to myself "the AFC North is just kinda...bleh". I don't know what it is. Could be the traditionally defensive-minded teams. Could be weird jerseys. Could be the Browns. But I thought: what are the best and worst divisions to watch?

Saturday, September 13, 2014

How Is Another Football Season Already Well Underway?

I can't believe that it's Week 2 of the NFL and Week 3 of college football this weekend. Football wore its sneakers this year and sneaked up on me. Even though I've already been out to one Notre Dame game, I still haven't done a true American sit-on-your-couch-and-drink-and-eat-until-your-ass-has-bedsores weekend. But that's about to change!

To get myself pumped up for football, I went back and read How Blank's odes to the pigskin from last fall. I've linked to them below and included the best line from each post and something that I'd add this year.

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

"How Could That Be Worth It?"

Do you see the title of this post? Well, I heard many variations of that question last week as Kerry and I prepared to head (Mid)west for the final iteration of Notre Dame-Michigan over the weekend.

More precisely, I heard many variations of the question "How the hell could that possibly be worth it?".

Well, as of Friday night, I agreed that it might not have been worth it. We left New York at about 4 on Friday afternoon and -- aside from the normal George Washington Bridge traffic -- we were cruising on I-80 for most of the evening and night. Then, somewhere near Bumblefuck, Ohio, the skies opened up. Suddenly, I-80 was virtually indistinguishable from the Cuyahoga River. I honestly thought we might have to ford the highway, Oregon Trail-style.