Sunday, May 4, 2014

How Are NBA Players Similar to 24 Characters?

I don't do this too often, but I'm re-posting something I wrote a couple months ago. In honor of the convergence of these magnificent NBA playoffs and tomorrow's return of FOX's 24, here are the NBA players that most resemble characters from the show.

The most addictive show I've ever watched -- 24 -- is returning to FOX for a 12-episode series entitled "Live Another Day," beginning on May 5. In honor of the show's triumphant return, here are the NBA stars most similar to 24 characters. (Warning: Spoilers abound.)

Kevin Durant -- Jack Bauer

(Photos via and

Durant's been the calmest, deadliest player in the game this year, especially after losing running-mate Russell Westbrook for a few months. Similarly, Jack becomes even more cold-blooded after the death of his wife in Season 1. He tortures Russian assassins and American traitors like Durant has been torturing NBA defenses all season.

Russell Westbrook -- Teri Bauer

Westbrook is Durant's other -- albeit weaker -- half. (In Season 1, Teri tells her daughter that Jack is the strongest, bravest man she's ever met. Duh.) Still, like Teri, Russ is formidable in his own right. Let's just hope Mr. Westbrook meets a much happier ending than Mrs. Bauer. 

Damian Lillard -- Kim Bauer

Just as Kim was the hot youngster that we watched mature, Lillard has really grown up this year. Neither was a slouch in Season 1 (Lillard was the Rookie of the Year, and Kim was already played by Elisha Cuthbert), but it took a little time to see their true capabilities.

Shane Battier -- Chloe O'Brian

Chloe is usually the smartest person in the room, as is Battier. Unfortunately, the cerebral Heat forward is having a rough season, shooting just 41 percent from the field and under 37 percent on three-point attempts. Let's hope Chloe puts forth a better showing than that in "Live Another Day." 

Steve Nash -- Morris O'Brian

Both are foreign guys and both have fatal flaws (back problems for Nash and alcoholism for Morris). In Season 6, Morris succumbs to torture and programs a bomb for Abu Fayed. It remains to be seen whether Nash -- now in Season 17 -- retires due to the torture of his broken-down body.

New York Knicks -- Nina Myers

Sure, it would have been easy to stick post-Decision LeBron into this spot, but it's been a few years since he betrayed Cleveland. Instead, let's compare Nina to the entire Knicks organization. Like Nina, who I listed as one of the biggest turncoats ever, the Knicks sometimes seem like they're good. However, just as Nina does to Jack, the 'Bockers constantly rip their fans' hearts out.

David Stern -- Ryan Chappelle

Let's hope this isn't how Adam Silver said goodbye to David Stern. (Photo via
In Season 3 of 24, CTU boss Chappelle allows himself to be sacrificed for the good of the nation. Stern had a much nicer farewell than Chapelle, but both of them are gone forever.

Larry Sanders -- Tony Almeida

The last time we saw Tony, he was a screaming, flailing, angry mess who was being held back by some strong people. You know, kind of like Sanders in this video:

Derrick Rose -- Audrey Raines

Both are expected back after extended absences. We know we'll see Audrey in the upcoming season of 24, but apparently she'll be re-married. Questions abound: Will she end up with Jack? How much of a role will she play in this season's conflict? Will she still be hot?  

For the Chicago point guard, only one question really matters: Will we ever see the old Derrick Rose again?

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