Tuesday, April 15, 2014

How Fantastic Are These Movie Montages?

On Saturday, I was watching a Rocky marathon with Kerry and our friends Jaime and Kevin.

We were midway through Rocky II, at the scene when Mickey first introduces Rocky to the idea of chasing a chicken to develop speed.*

*I always thought that you can't teach speed, but whatever.

"Is he going to catch it?" Jaime asked.

"Don't worry," Kevin told her. "He'll catch it during the montage."

Sure enough, 30 minutes later, Rocky was holding that chicken over his head at the end of the "Win, Rocky, Win" montage.

All of which begs the question, What are the best movie montages of all-time? Let's hash this out.

10. Top Gun -- Volleyball Montage

The only reason this isn't higher on the list is because not too much happens during the montage. In many of the other films on this list, the montages cram a ton of action into the span of a single song. In this Top Gun scene, all you get is one volleyball match -- albeit the greatest volleyball match ever played. During sand volleyball games in college, we used to blast "Playing with the Boys" and imitate Ice Man's casual flexing.

9. Rudy -- Tryouts Montage

Of course Mr. Five-Foot-Nothing was making this list. Rudy once spoke at a pep rally when I was at Notre Dame, and he was either hammered-drunk or brain-damaged. I docked the movie a few spots for that real-life performance by Rudy.

8. Happy Gilmore -- "Jump Around" Montage
This montage comes from a different type of sports movie. Instead of training like a fiend and trying to make a team, Happy signs double-D breasts and dives headfirst into a lake in search of his ball.

7. Dumb and Dumber -- Getting Ready for the Ball Montage

Harry and Lloyd are just going around writing IOU's like crazy in this scene. The rest of our montages are a bit more serious than this one.

6. Goodfellas -- Lufthansa Hit Montage

The song "Layla" seems to peak at perfect points during this scene, a detail that Martin Scorsese surely intended. Just an awesome montage.

In related news, one of the guys from the actual Lufthansa Heist was just arrested this year.

One last note: You see the corpse of my newest celebrity friend at the 1:00 mark of the clip embedded above.

5. Scarface -- Rise to Power Montage

The six M's: money, Montana, marriage, Michelle (Pfeiffer), mansions, montage. Oh, and a tiger.

4. Team America: World Police -- Sex Scene Montage
I linked to this scene instead of embedding it because it's probably the most inappropriate thing you could create using puppet actors. Team America also features a hilarious song called "Montage," but the sex scene trumps it.

3. Forrest Gump -- Running Montage

We've already covered this scene here, and my buddy Chris does a horrible impression of it. Tunes from Jackson Browne, The Doobie Brothers, Fleetwood Mac, Willie Nelson, and Bob Seger make this montage a classic.

2. The Godfather -- Baptism Montage

This montage features such a creative array of Mafia executions: the fake cop, the revolving door, the sex scene, the bullet through the eyeball ... Just iconic.

Also, I mentioned in our movie draft that this scene has inspired countless imitations and parodies. Here's my favorite:

1. Rocky--Training Montages
Rocky Balboa is the only man who could unseat Michael Corleone on this list. Fortunately, Rocky left us montage after montage. We saw him run up the stairs at the Philadelphia Museum of Art...

...then we watched him catch that damn chicken...

...and we cringed at his awkward embrace with Apollo Creed...

...and, finally, we witnessed him prepare to end the Cold War:

Rocky didn't require chemical assistance like Ivan Drago did. He just needed an inspiring montage to get him going. Just like the rest of us.

Honorable Mention: Ferris Bueller's Day Off Museum MontageCaddyshack Opening Montage

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  1. UMMMMMMM wedding crashers boob montage?

    1. Great point. That scene has boobs, booze, and "Shout." And boobs.

      Bad omission on my part.

    2. Everyone makes a mistake here and there.