Wednesday, January 29, 2014

How Much Do Women Love These Non-Poor Characters?

After FranT’s list of non-rich characters and the women who love them, there were two logical next steps. FranT took one with the non-rich female characters. Here I’m taking the other: non-poor male characters, and the women who love are around them.

Compiling a list of some of the richest dudes in movies and TV turns up some shady characters, some immoral egomaniacs, and some straight up weird and ugly guys. Here and there you find a good soul. Overall the romantic history of this bunch is pretty checkered. They seem for the most part to be okay at attracting the women. For many of them, though, it just get’s considerably more complicated as they enter into long-term relationships. Mo Money, Mo Problems.

How Do You Choose Just 10 Golden Globe Movies?

After the wild success of our first draft, America's Best Sports Cities, we decided to hold another one. Here's how it went down:

Kavanaugh: In order to take it away from sports for a bit (though I'm sure we'll get back to sports soon enough), here's my next draft idea: "10 Desert Island Movies."

The catch is we'll take five movies each from the Comedy/Music and Drama Golden Globe nominees. That's the only criteria I can think of. Re-watch value will be key, since you're stuck with these movies forever.

FranT: That sounds great! I agree that January has been a pretty sports-heavy month at How Blank. Before we get started, can you please tell me why the hell musicals and comedies are lumped together in the Golden Globe nominations?

Monday, January 27, 2014

How Poor Are These Fictional Women?

Earlier in the week, I posted about the best poor male chracters and the fact that women swoon over them. Today, let's look at the best fictional members of the fairer sex.

Top 10 Poor Female Characters

As in the previous post, we'll go in ascending order. (This time, you'll see why at the end of the post.)

1. Katniss Everdeen (The Hunger Games)
Katniss is such a badass that I bought my little cousin a bow-and-arrow for Christmas. Just kidding -- I bought him a bow-and-arrow so that he could shoot squirrels in the Bronx.

2. Cinderella (Cinderella)
What a great role model for poor girls. If you want to pull your way out of poverty, rely on a magical fairy godmother and the beneficence of a rich guy. It's the only way.

How Rejuvenated Are the Grizzlies and Nets? (Power Rankings, Week 13)

If Bruce Springsteen were to comment on last week's NBA action, he'd say that DeMar DeRozan was "Born to Run." Meanwhile, Gerald Green showed the Pacers that he's "Growin' Up" and Andrea Bargnani said, "I'm Going Down." At the Garden, Carmelo asked Charlotte, "Can anyone 'Cover Me'?" In other highlights, Damian Lillard gave the rim a little of that "Human Touch" and Kobe looked like he was "Blinded by the Light." And last but not least... Kevin Durant, now a.k.a. The Slim Reaper, continued his recent reign as The Boss.

(And don't forget that Justin Bieber, a staple of NBA All-Star Weekend, was arrested for Racing in the Street.)

I guess that's enough of the Springsteen gimmick for now. In this week's power rankings, the Pacers retained the top spot for the fourth consecutive week, and Durant's Thunder climbed to No. 2. Meanwhile, despite a big win over Portland on Sunday, Golden State has cooled off a bit after a ridiculous couple of weeks, dropping to the No. 8 spot.

Following the complete rankings, we'll take a deeper look at the charging Memphis Grizzlies and the revamped Brooklyn Nets.

Sunday, January 26, 2014

How Much Do Women Love Poor Male Characters?

At How Blank, we love writing about the gap between the non-rich and the non-poor. I even described class differences at sporting events. This week, let's talk about the best rich and poor fictional characters.

Today we'll discuss the best poor male characters ever. You'll notice that despite their lack of money, many of these guys outkick their financial coverage and end up with bombshell women. Fictional ladies dig rags.

Thursday, January 23, 2014

How Much Will Tanaka Love NY?

Tanaka-mania* is upon us. Japanese righty Masahiro Tanaka signed with the Yankees yesterday after being courted by a bunch of major league teams.

*Tanaka-rama? Tanakas'R'Us?

I went out to lunch today and picked up the Daily News as I waited for my sandwich. On the front page, I saw a photo of Tanaka's wife -- not Tanaka, his wife... wearing a bikini.

How Could You Do That to Bacon?

There are pictures going around the Internet of a Chinese apartment building with bacon hung on all the balconies. The Website, which apparently is some sort of video gamer hotspot, re-posted a bunch of photos of the dastardly deed.

It got me thinking about Ronmer Swimpson, a mix of Ron Swanson and Homer Simpson that I created in a blizzard-induced fit of boredom a few weeks ago. Basically, Ronmer is the ideal man -- funny, lazy, government-hating, lazy, beer-loving, lazy, etc.

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

How Pumped Up Is the Governator? posted a video today of Arnold Schwarzenegger pranking gym-goers in California. In the clip, he's wearing a fake moustache and a dark pony-tail wig. One of the anchors even remarks that "he looks kinda scary." I would have gone with a word like "imbecilic" over "scary," but I guess that's why I'm not a news anchor.

Anyways, the video got me thinking about Ahnuld's fame, as well as the hypocritical way that various steroid users have been treated in America. (Feel free to stop here if you don't care about the steroids issue.)

Monday, January 20, 2014

How Other-Worldly Is Kevin Durant? (Power Rankings, Week 12)

In the past few days of NBA action, Kevin Durant went off, Paul George turned it on, Mark Cuban had to be muted, and the Manimal cranked up the volume.

In this week's power rankings, the Pacers hold firmly to the top spot while the Grizzlies move all the way up to No. 11 on the strength of a five-game winning streak.

Following the complete rankings, we'll take a deeper look at Durant's Oklahoma City Thunder and the rejuvenated Toronto Raptors.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

How Magisterial Is Messi?

I watch soccer pretty infrequently now*, but I know the game pretty well. I played throughout my childhood and high school, and I still join a league every now and then. Oh, and I played a ton of FIFA in college.**

*If you add up all the bits and pieces of games I watch, it would probably tally about one full match per month.

**Just unhealthy amounts. One time we had been playing for hours, and my buddy Keating attempted to ask our roommate Mike for a beverage. "Yo, FIFA, pass me a beer," Keating commanded. Like I said, unhealthy.

The reason I always loved playing soccer was the amount of teamwork it usually took to mount just one scoring chance. When a teammate or I scored a goal, it was that much sweeter because you got to share it with your buddies. I always think back to the deafening roar I heard as we all converged on a teammate who had scored a game-winner in high school. There was nothing like it.

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

How Do Our Cities Look?

Here's the Sports Cities Draft recap, in pictures.

1. Brian

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

How Did the Sports City Draft Unfold?

Last week, I emailed Kavanaugh with the following proposition: Let's have a draft of the best sports cities in the U.S.

My question was simple: "If you could be a sports fan in any American city, and you had no previous rooting interest, where would you live?" Here's the email exchange that ensued over the next few days:

FranT: If you could be a sports fan in any American city, and you had no previous rooting interest, where would you live? You get the first pick in this draft, because I picked the category. You're the away team, as it were.

P.S. We're not just confining this to pro sports. I have some interesting ones up my sleeve.

Kavanaugh: Wowww, now that makes it interesting.

Alright, first up I'll take San Francisco. Based on the description, it doesn't sound like past championships are that much of a factor, but if they are that's fine. I can grab a more historical city later in the draft.

Monday, January 13, 2014

How Obliverated Was My Sister?

We went out for a few drinks yesterday afternoon, and my sister T was telling a story about college. Midway through the story, she said that her friend had gotten "completely obliverated."

"Obliverated?" I asked, as did my buddy Kevin and T's friend Lauren.

"What's the word supposed to be?" T responded, with genuine confusion in her voice.

Needless to say, we dropped the word "obliverated" into pretty much every conversation we had the rest of the day. It reminded me of Mike Tyson's classic "fade into bolivian" quote.

Anyways, I'm sure T will hate me for posting this story, but I think that's what older brothers are for -- obliverating your self-esteem.

Sunday, January 12, 2014

How Hot Are the Warriors? (Power Rankings, Week 11)

We have an all Walt "Clyde" Frazier intro today. This week, Blake Griffin was huffing and stuffing, J-Smoove was winning and grinning, Kyrie Irving was slicing and dicing, and the Lakers were stumbling and bumbling. One more Griffin highlight: Blake was spinning and winning.

In this week's power rankings, the Pacers retained their top spot, with Miami and San Antonio nipping at their heels. Meanwhile, the Lakers continued their free-fall, dropping all the way to the No. 28 spot.

Following the complete rankings, we'll take a deeper look at two teams battling for top-four position in the loaded Western Conference -- the Golden State Warriors and the Los Angeles Clippers.

Friday, January 10, 2014

How Much Does Stewart Cink Need Headgear?

The most-viewed post in How Blank's spectacular* history is called "How Much Do Bald Athletes Need Headgear?" The key word in the title, of course, is the word "bald." For instance, Henrik Lundqvist is a sexy beast with a great mane of hair. He doesn't need his headgear to make him more of a man. Former Ranger Mark Messier, though? He looked like a much bigger stud when he wore his Magneto-like helmet.

*"They're real and they're spectacular" alert!

This brings us to golfer Stewart Cink. After making a putt in the Sony Open yesterday, Cink took off his cap and revealed this:

Monday, January 6, 2014

How Can New York Fans Remain Optimistic?

I was in Boston over the weekend to visit Kavanagh and some other friends. We went to the Frozen Fenway college hockey tournament, a doubleheader in which Notre Dame faced Boston College in the second game.

Anyways, before heading into Fenway with soaking wet, frostbitten feet, we went to the nearby Baseball Tavern for a literal and figurative pre-game. While we were there, Kavanaugh pointed out what he called an "obnoxious" graphic on one of the bar's TVs. It looked something like this:

For the record, it does pain me to post that image on my blog. But here's the thing: While Kavanaugh correctly used the word "obnoxious," I would call that photo "embarrassing." There are 33 total logos on there. The Yankees almost single-handedly eclipse that number.

Even though it's been the opposite of a banner year for New York sports, we have to remember that metropolitan New York has won 52 championships in the four major sports. (Click here for the list.*)

*That list actually has Boston at 35 titles.

Here are 14 reasons to be optimistic about New York sports in 2014:

Sunday, January 5, 2014

How Are the Wizards a Potential Top-Four Seed? (Power Rankings, Week 10)

Last week was the first time this season that I neglected my power rankings,* and I'm sure you were all sadder than the average Derrick Rose fan. But I'm back with a vengeance this week, about to go on a tear like Blake Griffin has experienced the last few weeks.

*We spent New Year's skiing in Vermont and, since nobody pays me to do this, I called in sick for the week.

Since my last power rankings, it seems like half the league's stars have gone down with injuries. But there were still plenty of holiday-season goodies around the Association, including LeBron showing the Hawks how to soar; Miles Plumlee heating up for the Suns; and Reggie Jackson reminding Amar'e what healthy knees allow you to do.

One more thing: Even though it happened two weeks ago, I have to mention Magic Johnson's tweet about the LeBron-Wade alley oop on Christmas:

Now, onto the rankings. In this week's edition, the streaking Warriors jumped to the No. 6 slot and the Nuggets plummeted all the way to No. 16. Meanwhile, the Pacers reclaimed the top spot, thanks in no small part to Russell Westbrook's injury in Oklahoma City.

Following the complete rankings, we'll take a deeper look at the Washington Wizards and the Minnesota Timberwolves.

Friday, January 3, 2014

How Many New Year's Resolutions Just Died?

Kerry and I were discussing the impending Herculean* storm yesterday, and she mentioned that it would cause many people to abandon their New Year's Resolutions.

*I feel like Hercules is such a bad-ass name for a storm. Even though it dumped a lot of snow, it wasn't that bad. I propose that Storms Sandy and Hercules should swap names in the history books.

After quickly examining my actions today, it turns out that Kerry was absolutely correct. If a person was foolish enough to create a typical New Year's Resolution last week, Hercules probably just butchered it.