Wednesday, November 13, 2013

How Would Ben Franklin Describe These Sports Stories?

According to Yahoo, on this date in 1879, Benjamin Franklin wrote in a letter to his friend Jean-Baptiste Leroy: "In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes."

I've written before about Franklin's love of grandpa's old cough medicine, and in that post I addressed some of the quotes that have been misattributed to him. Among those is "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." But it's safe to say that Ben did in fact opine on the certainty of death and taxes.

In Franklin's honor, here are a few happenings from this week in sports that are almost as certain as death and taxes:

The Spurs keep Spurrin'
Death, taxes...and Duncan's Spurs

Gregg Popovich has experimented with San Antonio's new pieces (Marco Belinelli) and players with new roles (Kawhi Leonard), and the Spurs have still jumped out to a 7-1 start. They even topped the undefeated Pacers in my Week 2 NBA Power Rankings.

The Duncan-Popovich Spurs make me long for the days when the Yankees held the title of Most Consistently Great Franchise in Sports.

Martin Brodeur is still the devil
Not in a good, "Martin Brodeur is a handsome devil" way. More in a "Martin Brodeur is the devil and he needs to go away forever" way.

Sharty Marty outdueled Rangers goalie Henrik Lundqvist last night as the Devils gave Brodeur his record 674th win. Ludqvist had Brodeur's number for a couple years there, but apparently not anymore.

Brodeur is 41 and still playing well. I thought he was done after he got hurt a few seasons ago, but here's what he's reminding me of now:

I still hate John Calipari
Here was my favorite moment from Kentucky's loss to Michigan State last night:
Having a little trouble with one of your freshmen, Coach Cal?

James Dolan will always be delusional
First, he declared the Knicks a contender during the preseason. Okay, I guess we can give an optimistic billionaire a mulligan on that one.

But last night, at one of his band's shows, Dolan guaranteed the Knicks would beat the Hawks tonight. Which Knicks team has he been watching? The one that lost to the Bobcats at home, or the one that almost blew a 25-point halftime lead over the Bucks on opening night?

I guess even Ben Franklin would be certain that inheriting billions of dollars from your daddy results in you becoming a moronic blowhard.

Peyton Manning likes to break records
Manning is on pace to throw for 59 touchdown passes and 5,776 yards, both of which would be NFL records. It's been amazing to watch Manning's Broncos torch the league all season.

Here's what I wrote in a post about Serena Williams last summer:

"Peyton Manning, Tom Brady, Paul Pierce, and Martin Brodeur also are among the best ever at their crafts. Coincidentally, I disliked them for most of their careers. And I have learned to appreciate and root for each of them to some extent during the past few years. They're just too good to completely cheer against."

Upon re-reading that, I guess I haven't fully learned how to appreciate that asshole Brodeur. At least when he plays against the Rangers, I like Marty about as much as Dwight likes Stripper Ben Franklin:

Awkward way to bring it full-circle, I know, but I had to include a clip from that episode.

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