"How long do you think a marathon would take, if you just went back and forth from your couch to your fridge?" I asked. I got a variety of responses: "Two months." "Six months." "Six years."
Well, it's a good thing I'm here to solve this word problem!
A full marathon spans 138,435 feet, and the distance between my couch and my fridge is 26.75 feet. I figure that I make the couch-to-fridge round-trip journey an average of about five times a night, meaning that I travel 267.5 feet per night (26.75 x 2 x 5). In order to complete a marathon, I'd have to sustain that average for 518 days (138,435 / 267.5). So the couch-to-fridge marathon would take just under a year-and-a-half.
Now, if I added in two or three bathroom trips per night,* I'd cut down my marathon time to less than a year. It's not quite as good as the sub-three-hour marathons that my dad ran, but I'd take it.
*Eight-to-ten bathroom trips on nights when beer is prominently involved.
The two best parts of my hypothetical marathon:
1. On the day I finished my slow-and-steady race, I'd dramatically limp around wearing one of those foil blankets.
|I'd crush this guy in a couch marathon.|