Monday, November 25, 2013

How Hot Was Kirstie Alley?

On Saturday morning, we were watching Cheers* on TV Land, and we had a few observations. Here they are, explained through a series of quotes.

*The greatest fictional bar ever!

My wife Kerry: "I never knew Cheers Frasier was Frasier Frasier."
Now, Frasier was one of the most successful spin-offs in TV history, but I understood Kerry's confusion. In the Cheers episode we watched, Frasier was slamming back shots like he was in a speakeasy. Did Frasier Frasier change that much, or did he just get old when he moved to Seattle?

My friend Molly: "Woody was a cutie."
Damn right he was! Long before he was a tree-hugging, zombie-killing old man, Woody Harrelson was the lovable hick barkeep from Indiana. We watched Woody's first episode and he was at his boyish-good-looks peak. Alas, Woody could never quite fill Coach's bartending shoes.

Me: "Ted Danson has really aged. He used to be a babe magnet, and now he looks like Herman Munster."

  

Me: "After Diane left, Rebecca came on. And Kirstie Alley was hot."
My friend Terry: "Oooohh yeah, she was."
But was she? After saying that, I went back and looked at some old clips and photos. I came to the conclusion that Alley was definitely at least '80s hot. However, she also benefited from her juxtaposition to her homely* co-stars. Here, look at this photo:

Easiest "Who'd you rather?" in the history of mankind.
*Today, I told my students how my grandmother uses the word homely as a nicer way of calling someone ugly. Naturally, the kids all started calling each other homely.

And guess what? Alley is back on TV, and she's still surrounding herself with the unfortunate-looking. Here's an ad I saw on the train this morning:


Rhea Perlman is your guardian angel, Kirstie.

With all that being said, I'll leave you with one of my favorite Cheers scenes ever:

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