Wednesday, October 9, 2013

How Can Dustin Pose Like That?

I'm in my buddy Mike's wedding party next month, and he just sent us all the information about our tuxes. He also sent us a picture of the shoes he wants us to wear:

Pretty snazzy, no doubt. I'll be looking fresh in those jams.

But now, look at another photo of the footwear:

Same dapper shoes, sure. But let's talk about the male model above -- we'll call him Dustin. I have a few questions and concerns about Dustin:

1) How does Dustin do that? I mean, really? The frontal foot-on-the-wall move would be difficult even for Derek Zoolander. It's more unnatural than most of the positions in the Kamasutra.

2) How does one become a foot model? Is Dustin just a modern-day George Costanza?

3) I know plenty of guys like Dustin, and they're not all they're cracked up to be. I'm sure I can pull off the same foot-on-the-wall move...

I know what you're probably thinking: "Damn, FranT's got some sweet shoes." Or maybe: "Damn, FranT's got some sweet legs." You'd be correct on both counts. But the one thing I learned is that Dustin definitely didn't take a selfie.

4) What other positions can Dustin pull off?

Oh, don't be such a Pervy Pervis. I just meant that I wonder if he can pull off the Zoolander Self-Wedgie.

5) Am I really such a fashionista that I just wrote a whole style blogpost?

6) Should I call myself a fashionista from now on? Or is it fashionisto, since I'm a dude?

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