But now, look at another photo of the footwear:
Same dapper shoes, sure. But let's talk about the male model above -- we'll call him Dustin. I have a few questions and concerns about Dustin:
1) How does Dustin do that? I mean, really? The frontal foot-on-the-wall move would be difficult even for Derek Zoolander. It's more unnatural than most of the positions in the Kamasutra.
2) How does one become a foot model? Is Dustin just a modern-day George Costanza?
3) I know plenty of guys like Dustin, and they're not all they're cracked up to be. I'm sure I can pull off the same foot-on-the-wall move...
I know what you're probably thinking: "Damn, FranT's got some sweet shoes." Or maybe: "Damn, FranT's got some sweet legs." You'd be correct on both counts. But the one thing I learned is that Dustin definitely didn't take a selfie.
4) What other positions can Dustin pull off?
Oh, don't be such a Pervy Pervis. I just meant that I wonder if he can pull off the Zoolander Self-Wedgie.
5) Am I really such a fashionista that I just wrote a whole style blogpost?
6) Should I call myself a fashionista from now on? Or is it fashionisto, since I'm a dude?