Thursday, September 12, 2013

How Much Do I Love My Neighborhood?



An Ode to My Adopted Neighborhood

Woodlawn. Bronx, New York.
It's a place where people from Westchester County feel equally at home as those from County Kerry.
Where the bartenders know your name better than Sam Malone or Coach ever would.
It's a place where "Crackie" and "Horse" are the nicknames of grown-ass men.
Where great drinkers are celebrities, and actual "celebrities" would go unnoticed.
Where "What's the craic?" is heard as often as "What's up?"
And where "BRX BMBR" and "WDLWN" are actual license plates.

In Woodlawn, St. Paddy's Day lasts nearly two months,
And Katonah Avenue on the first day of spring can feel like Mardi Gras. 
We cheer for the Giants and Jets, the Yankees not Mets.
Speaking of sports, the Woodlawn late-night food-trucks have rivalries.
You can get to the 'Lawn via 4-train, 2-train, or Metro North.
No matter what, though, you're going home in a cab.

We've all been to mass at St. Barnabas,
Although some of us have slept through the 1 p.m. "Sinner's Mass."
We consider Kozy Korner and Sean's Deli gourmet,
And Anna's Attic is our shopping destination.
We're famous for our cemetery,
Even though most of us have never been there.

Have you ever had a bouncer let you drink as he closed up at 6 a.m., just so he could have a few laughs at your drunken expense?
Have you ever been in a packed bar that flooded due to torrential downpour? Then the bartenders put on the Titanic soundtrack, everyone lifted their feet up, and business continued as usual?
Well, that's Woodlawn,
A place where the song "Meet Me on McLean Tonight" by Shilelagh Law is a homecoming anthem for almost everyone.


And a place where a homecoming anthem is necessary, because it's always so great to come home.
Even if it is your "adopted" home.

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