I've written before about comical accents and the dastardliness of the English language. Here are my Top 5 favorite mispronunciations:
5. John Madden: "San Antonio Holmes"
I couldn't find a YouTube clip of this, but I know Madden said it at least once when Holmes* was on the Steelers. Turns out that an Internet stranger named davatron agrees with me. I really miss Madden's mispronunciations and made-up words like "audibilize."
*My buddy Pete is a huge Jets fan, and he despises Santonio Holmes. I think the breaking point was when Holmes threw the ball to the 49ers for a touchdown last season. Last week's Jets win was bittersweet for him (BitterPete?) because Holmes got the glory of the game-winning TD.
4. My Dad: "Joe-ba Chamberlain", "Chris Mullins", and "John Olenrud"
We've been watching Joba for seven years now, and my father still says the righty's name with a long "O." Meanwhile, Dad cheered for Mullin and Olerud for even longer, and he always added an extra letter to each of their names. For a long time I thought that UPN spelt Olerud's name incorrectly on its Mets broadcasts, because why would my pops just add an "n" to the guy's last name?
3. William Shatner: "Sabataage"
How cocky is Shatner? "I don't say 'sabotage.' You say 'sabotage.' I say 'sabataage.'" Such a baller.
2. Wheel of Fortune Contestant: Failure to say "Corner Curio Cabinet"
I don't know what the hell a corner curio cabinet is, but I do know how to read. Granted, this guy had a cool million on the line, but he didn't have to talk like Professor Frink from The Simpsons. This just happened last week, but I'd be surprised if the guy hasn't pulled a Brooks from The Shawshank Redemption yet.
1. Joe Pesci: "Two Yutes"
Honorable Mention: Anyone who says "Aks" instead of "Ask"
Speaking of Pesci, how hard is it to pronounce such a common three-letter word? "Aks" narrowly edged "Ath-a-lete" and George W. Bush's "Strategery" for this honorable mention slot.