|Ever hear of Clearasil, bro?|
Anyways, it seems quite obvious why the creature, known as Bunostegos akokanensis, went extinct. How was he ever supposed to get a girl? I don't think any sexy female lizards were lining up to keep the gene pool alive. As a former pizza-face, I speak from experience when I tell you that nothing kills your game with the ladies like a pimple-covered grill.
In honor of the newly-discovered lizard, here are some of my favorite dermatologically-challenged individuals:
Krusty Burger Worker
I wrote about Two-Face during the winter when I compared the Batman villain to the Knicks and Rangers. In the comics, Two-Face goes insane after having acid poured on half his face. Ouch, baby; very ouch.
|The archetypical Barfly Skell.|
"That's the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen."
In my eyes, Seal pulling in Heidi Klum is still a Miracle on Ice-type upset. The dude's face has more ups and downs than Bukowski's blood-alcohol level. Also, the fact that Seal did get Heidi sort of kills my original thesis about inevitable extiction for knob-headed animals. Still, no analysis of individuals with horrible skin would have been complete without Seal.