Saturday, May 25, 2013

How Would I Spend a Day in Springfield?

If you're not an avid watcher of The Simpsons, skip this post. Also, you're not my friend anymore.

On Friday, Universal Orlando announced plans to open a model "Springfield" within the larger theme park. Let's just hope it's not anything like the time the Simpsons actually went to an amusement park.

And that was just a prelude to the mascots attacking all the patrons at Itchy and Scratchy Land.

Anyways, the announcement about the imitation Springfield got me thinking about how I would spend a day in the actual town.

My Ideal Day in Springfield

9:00--Wake up and go to Lard Lad's Donuts for breakfast.
9:30--Work off some of those calories by jumping on Homer's trampoline.

10:00--Tell Ned Flanders that God is dead.
10:15--Walk across town to ask Montgomery Burns for a loan.
10:20--Run away after Mr. Burns releases the hounds.

10:30--Point and laugh at Ralph Wiggum.

10:35--Stop by The Android's Dungeon to see Comic Book Guy.
10:45--Buy a Squishee at the Kwik-E-Mart.
11:00--Drop by the set of the new Rainier Wolfcastle movie.
11:15--Walk by the set of Channel 6 News and ask Kent Brockman why he didn't keep his Jewish name, Kenny Brockelstein.

11:30--Have a Bloody Mary with Krusty the Klown in his trailer.
A true role model.
12:00--Pay my respects at the grave of Bleeding Gums Murphy with Lisa.
12:30--Grab lunch at Krusty Burger. Hopefully they still serve the Ribwich.
F--- lettuce!
1:15--Jump the Springfield Gorge on a skateboard.

2:00--Visit Dr. Nick Riviera for injuries sustained while jumping the Springfield Gorge.

"The 'B' is for Bargain!"
2:45--Visit Dr. Hibbert to fix complications caused by Dr. Nick.
3:15--Laugh with Dr. Hibbert about Dr. Nick's incompetence.
3:30--Duck into Moe's for a quick Duff.
4:00--Drive drunk with Lenny and Carl to the bowling alley.
5:00--Put the finishing touches on my 300 game.

6:00--Go to Uncle Moe's for dinner.

7:00--Egg Principal Skinner's house with Bart and Milhouse.
8:00--Hide in the bushes as Chief Wiggum looks for us.
9:00--Go to Flaming Moe's for a nightcap.
10:00--Skinny dip in the Simpsons' pool.
11:00--Go to bed.

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