Sunday, April 14, 2013

How Many F---s Do You Give?

People often use the phrase "I don't give a f---," but that's not really true. We all give a f---* about some things.

*Trying to keep How Blank as close to PG-13 as we can, so we'll try to avoid the actual f-word as much as possible. Don't think it actually matters much, but whatever.

At a Boston bar the other day, my friends and I all discussed how many f---s we give out of 100. I'm a pretty laidback dude, so I said I give about 10 f---s out of 100. My buddy Chrisdrew is one of the only people I've ever met that legitimately doesn't care what others think of him. He said he gives just 1-2 f---s out of 100. Chrisdrew is actually very similar to Robert Doback from Step Brothers.

According to Google Images, a lot of characters -- fictional and historical -- don't give a f---. They include Spongebob Squarepants, Yao Ming, George Clooney, The Most Interesting Man in the World, Billy Mays, The Little Mermaid, and Dora the Explorer. And, of course, Morgan Freeman.

But all of those people give at least a few f---s. Take The Little Mermaid, for instance. She clearly gives a f--- about becoming a human, avoiding the wrath of Ursula, and marrying Eric. She also definitely gives a f--- about not being poked by the priest's erection.

My fiancée, Kerry, and How Blank's Brian Kavanaugh both said they give an extremely high 90 f---s per 100. We decided that this was okay because married couples should combine to give about 100 f---s, in order to cover all the things that people should give a f--- about. And while most humans might not give so many f---s, we all give a f--- about something.

So I encourage you, reader, to do some reflecting and figure it out for yourself. How many f---s do you give?

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