Saturday, March 23, 2013

How Funny is Calling a Man a Woman?

I was returning something to a fellow teacher yesterday -- let's call him Mr. Jones. Outside of the room, Mr. Jones had posted a note: "No hats, hoodies, or food past this point. Thank you. -Mr. Jones." Except it didn't say Mr. Jones anymore. A clever student had added an "s" onto his title, turning him into Mrs. Jones for all to see. Will calling a man a woman ever get old?

Later in the day, I was having a party with one of my classes because it was the last period before spring break. (I know, teaching is tough.) I signed into Netflix and asked the students what movie they wanted to watch. Bad idea; the floodgates opened. "White Chicks!" "Tyler Perry!" "Jackass 3!" "Insidious!" There was no way we were going to come to a consensus. I was stressed. Then, like manna in the desert, I saw Happy Gilmore under the "New to Netflix" section."Have you guys seen Happy Gilmore?" I asked. "We don't wanna watch that old people movie," one little punk said. Naturally, I began streaming it faster than you can say "Shooter McGavin." I told the students that if they weren't laughing hysterically within five minutes, we'd change the movie. We didn't have to change the movie.

One of Happy's timeless lines is, "Sorry, ladies, I'm not the golfing type."


Throughout my life, I've heard hundreds of corny jokes by men questioning other men's manliness.
On the golf course: "Nice shot, does your husband play?"
On the basketball court: "Nice defense, [insert name of wife/girlfriend here]."
About a pro hockey player:
     

On the volleyball court:


And, of course, on the baseball diamond:


Some people might call jokes like these sexist, but I call them funny. The first caveman probably insulted his buddy by saying he hunted woolly mammoths like a girl. And robot-humans in the future will tell each other not to break a nail while doing something manly.

Calling a man a woman will always be funny.

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