Wednesday, February 20, 2013

How Absurd is Wearing a Tank Top through the Airport?

I was flying from O'Hare to LaGuardia yesterday and it was bitter cold in Chicago. The weather people were saying it was about eight degrees outside. Anyways, I saw this guy on the security line:

I didn't quite know what to think, but I thought about him entirely too much. At first, I figured he was a savage, plain and simple. Why would you wear a sleeveless shirt and a pair of shades through the airport checkpoint? Then, I started to wonder if maybe he was going to a warm-weather destination. That would make it much less weird.  Besides, once you consider some of the other creatures you encounter at the airport, this guy didn't seem so bad. Let's have a look:

Neck Pillow Guy
In what other setting would it be okay to wear this around?



Dude, you look like you're trying to win a phony lawsuit. Like you called up 1-800-PAINLAW and they strapped that on you. Saul Goodman forced you to wear it to elicit sympathy from the jurors. But hey, even celebrities wear them through the airport.


           
Kris Allen                                                    Leo. Not quite wearing it, but still dripping sexiness.

Dirtbag Traveler
I'm not just going to rag on other people in this space. I'm usually quite a dirtbag traveler myself. I'm talking about smelly, dirty feet in sandals. Alcohol pouring out of my pores. I usually go unshowered, because it seems fruitless to bathe before flying if you're just going to get filthy during the day of traveling anyways. Right?

Fat Guy
This person, um, takes up more than his fair share of airline seating. On the bright side, he carries a spare tire or two if there are problems with the landing gear tires.

HEY YO, FATTAY!


High-maintenance Rich Lady
My fiancée and I had one of these on our flight out to Chicago. You can spot her from a mile away: fur coat, four bags, complete disregard for the "one bag and one personal item" rule. You can always count on her to take five minutes to get her luggage into the overhead compartments. You can be sure she'll give dirty looks to anyone flying with kids. In short, she's the type of lady that owns a miniature poodle.

So, compared to some of these other travelers, Sleeveless Shirt Guy really doesn't seem so bad.
What does everyone think? Was that a ridiculous outfit choice, or are all bets off in the airport? How absurd is wearing a tank top through the airport?

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